I almost passed her by…

I’m a speed walker. Hurry is my everyday tempo – hurry here, hurry there, hurry, hurry, hurry.

But today, He stopped me dead in my tracks.

With a small, withered old hand lifted, reaching, beseeching me.

I almost dashed past it. Almost. In my mad scurry to my next destination, I was nearly past her before my heart caught up with my legs and made me stop.

She was old, grey, disheveled, feeble. She stood there on the sidewalk, a doll-print sack hanging from one arm, lifting her hand to me and murmuring, “Young lady?” so quietly that I almost didn’t hear her.

I thought for a second that she was a beggar, and was quite surprised – we have many poor here, but few beg on the streets in our small town. They seem to spend more of their time digging through dumpsters for bottles to turn in for coins, and standing stoically by meager wares of vegetables and hand-knit items for sale on sidewalks. But this babushka was breaking the mold, it seemed, by asking for money on the street.

I looked into her face as I blustered past, my legs already slowing in their stride and my body turning toward her rather than on its predetermined path. I realized that the little hand she was raising was not cupped upward to receive money, but reaching for me, for help. As this fact and her voice reached my brain, I came back to her.

She pointed at the icy sidewalk and the curb before her, mumbling out a request for help to cross the unmanageable terrain.

“Of course,” I respond, reaching for her hand. Oh, that old, gnarled hand in mine… I’m nearly blinded by tears, remembering the countless times I held my Nanny’s hand as we walked together, she who cared for and loved me all my life leaning on me for support…and how she is now walking with Jesus. And to think I almost missed this…I almost missed Him reaching out to me, stretching out His old, gnarled hand, murmuring in His old, quivery voice. I almost missed this gift He had for me…because I was hurrying.

I suppose I think I can gain something from hurrying, but the truth is, I miss so much in my frantic, thoughtless scurrying. I almost missed Him there. I almost missed the chance to love Him by helping a dear aged soul cross an icy street. Just in front of me, other people had pushed right past that little, helpless woman, disregarding her as if she was no more than a dried husk of a thing, frail and trembling on the sidewalk. I was almost, almost such a one…I almost rushed past the King of Glory on the side of the road.

Praise Him that His quiet voice reached my ears…and my heart. I don’t want to miss Him.

Daughters, remember Me in every elderly hand that You touch
Sons, look for Me in the old and the blinded eyes
Children, remember, I’m sitting in wheelchairs and hospital beds
At every corner I wait for your kindness.

Search for My heart in the barefooted, wide eyed boy in the street
Find Me at home in the tears of a lonely man
See Me in children entangled in bodies that won’t let them rest
In every moment I wait for your kindness.

So do not pass Me by, do not pass Me by.
can you hear Me cry? do not pass Me by.

Come with your brokenness, come with your vulnerability
Come, take My hand with the faith I have given you
Comfort My heart with your kindness to even the least of these
In every stranger I wait for your mercy.

So do not pass Me by, do not pass Me by.
can you hear Me cry? do not pass Me by.

- Audrey Assad, “Kindness”

Editor’s Note: Pray for this missionary as she slows down and ministers to the ”least of these.” Pray for opportunities to minister to Christ by serving the people you come in contact with today. 

(names, locations and blog links omitted due to security issues; stock photo)

A year in review

Where did the time go?

This has been a different year than any I have had…ever. Here are some highlights:

*Our family moved to a place we had never been to tell people we had never met about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We said goodbye to English and understanding signs, people, and the culture.  And we also said goodbye to our friends and precious family.

*We moved from an 1800sq ft house to an 800sq ft apartment.  It’s close, but comfortable. I have learned that I don’t need as much as I thought.

*We left our car and began using public transportation. I love it! It is easy and convenient.

*I put my kids in a non-English speaking school.  I have one that is just about fluent and I have one that has had a lot more struggles. She has struggled with having a lack of friends and not knowing the language, but she is a fighter and learning more each day.

*I have learned to shop for a day or two at a time. My refrigerator and pantry are much smaller and the food does not have all the preservatives so I can’t stock up on supplies.

*I am learning a new language and doing better than I hoped.

*We have learned that we can survive the holidays without family. Of course we miss them desperately but we can make it.

*We have made new friends that have become like family.

*Finally, the best thing this year is knowing that God is faithful to keep his promises. When I was 9 years old at GA camp and felt called to be a missionary, people told me I was too young. Then in high school I continued to feel that calling and then I married a man who also felt the same calling. Finally after 21 years, God fulfilled that calling. There is no other place I would rather be than in the center of His will.

Next year will be full of more changes. We will continue to learn the language. More family members are planning to visit. We have two teams coming from Texas to help us. We will celebrate our 10th anniversary. But the biggest event is that we will be transitioning to our permanent city in the summer. We are very excited and anxious at the same time. We have made some contacts and are ready to get started.

2011 was full of firsts and I am looking forward to 2012 and all that God has in store for us.

Editor’s Note: Pray for MK’s who are struggling to learn a new language and fit in to a new culture.  Pray that this family would be a light to the people around them.

(names, locations and blog links omitted due to security issues; stock photo)

What did you give for Christmas?

I remember when I was a little girl as soon as our family opened up all of our presents I would rush to call my friend who lived right next door to see what she got for Christmas and then we would visit each other to see everything.  It seems those first few days after Christmas everywhere you go people are asking you what you got.  Why not say: What did you give?  After all, it is not our birthday that we are celebrating.  I’m not saying there is anything wrong with getting or giving gifts, we just need to make sure that our focus is on Jesus.

Anyway, as I reflect on the true meaning of Christmas I am reminded of what this world is like and how we can try to change the mindset of people along the way, especially our children, about what it means to give.  So instead of telling you all the wonderful things I received this Christmas let me tell you about the favorite gift that I gave.

My favorite gift that I gave was given to my two children who in turn gave to someone in need. Last week I gave them each  a certain amount of money and told them they couldn’t keep it but had to find someone to give it to or to buy something with it to help someone else in need. It couldn’t be someone they knew.

When the kids and I went to teach last Monday in the compound we found out about a little orphan boy named Emanuel who is 11, but looks like he is 8, and is HIV positive. The woman in charge of the school said he needed a back pack for school.  She did not want us to just give him the money because she said the aunt would just keep it for herself and it wouldn’t go to the child.  So my daughter bought the back pack and my son bought some school supplies. I added some cookies and banana bread. Emmanuel had the biggest smile on his little face when we gave him his gift and of course I had tears in my eyes.

So, what did you give for Christmas?

Editor’s Note: Praise God for the blessing of being able to give.  Pray that we will be able to pass that knowledge on to our children.  Pray for an opportunity to give something today.

(names, locations and blog links omitted due to security issues)

Giving thanks in all circumstances

There are times in our lives where we are faced with many hard decisions and other times where things are rather quiet. We haven’t had to make any of those tough decisions lately….until now. Our Pawpaw was diagnosed with pancreatic and liver cancer last week and given only 2-3 months to live. Choosing to live the life we live overseas (or being chosen) comes with many compromises and sometimes sacrifices (though none compare with Jesus’ sacrifice for us). We struggle with what to do in times like this. This time, we are choosing to go back to the States for 2 weeks to be able to see Pawpaw while he is still alive. It will be a whirlwind kind of trip, but we felt like it is one that needed to be taken. (See editor’s note below.)

It has been a tough week thinking about Pawpaw and preparing for Thanksgiving.  I have tried to be a good mom to my little ones, keep the house in order for guests, deal with a child’s stomach virus (and hope that I didn’t just pass it along to the 20 people who were in my home), and prepare for our trip to America (are we crazy for flying with a 1 and 2 year old???)

The Bible says that we are to “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thess. 5:18) So, am I thankful?  Harry A. Ironside said, “We would worry less if we praised more.  Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction.”

This week of Thanksgiving should be the opposite of what I have made it—stressful, exhausting, without joy, without thanks to my Creator who longs for me to be a Mary and not a Martha.  He wants me to sit at His feet and quit running around like the world depends on me to keep spinning.  “Help me, Jesus, to praise you more as I worry less and to be content and satisfied as I overflow with thanksgiving.”

As I sit here with my sick child, God is whispering to me Be thankful…look at what I have done this week (two Thanksgiving dinners for our local friends, a Christian concert, and an American Thanksgiving celebration)… rest in me…  I am enough.

Editor’s Note:  Since this blog was written, I received the following note from its author.  “Just so you know, we did return to the States and were able to visit with Papaw for a few days before he passed away and were even there for the funeral.  God’s timing was incredible and we were so thankful that we were able to be there during that time.”  Please join me in thanking God for His blessings on this family.   May His Spirit be their comforter and guide…

(names, locations and blog links omitted due to security issues; stock photo)

People need the Lord

Every day they pass me by,
I can see it in their eyes.
Empty people filled with care,
Headed who knows where?

On they go through private pain,
Living fear to fear.

Laughter hides their silent cries,
Only Jesus hears.

People need the Lord, people need the Lord.
At the end of broken dreams, He’s the open door.

People need the Lord, people need the Lord.

We are called to take His light
To a world where wrong seems right.

What would be too great a cost
For sharing life with one who’s lost?

Through His love our hearts can feel
All the grief they bear.

They must hear the words of life
Only we can share.

People need the Lord, people need the Lord
At the end of broken dreams, He’s the open door.

When will we realize that we must give our lives,
For people need the Lord.
People need the Lord.

This month I just want to keep before people all over the world the need to give sacrificially towards missions.  There are people all over the world that need to hear about the Love of God and how He sent His son Jesus to earth.  How Jesus grew up and later died on a cross for our sins because He loved us!  The problem is that we are separated from Jesus because of our sin.  If we will just repent and ask God to forgive us of our sin and ask Him to come into our hearts -He promises to do that.  How can people in the far reaches of the world hear this plan of salvation unless someone goes and tells them this Good News?  The International Mission Board has around 5000 missionaries that Southern Baptists have sent out all over the world to do just this.  We can’t do it all by ourselves though.  We need your prayers on a daily basis.  We need you to come join us for a couple of weeks on a short term volunteer trip.  There may even be some whom God is calling to be full time missionaries.  He may want YOU to serve HIM in another country- away from the comforts of your own home.  As missionaries we also need you to give financially to the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering which is taken up this time of year in Southern Baptist churches.  Your gifts make it possible for us to live in a third world country, have a nice comfortable home, have a truck to drive in difficult places, for our kids to have a good education, to have our medical needs met, and so much more, all so that we can share the love of Christ with others!  We try to be His Hands and His Feet but we can not do it alone!  We need you to do your part!  Please prayerfully consider how you can do your part and join 5000 other missionaries all over the world and let’s make a difference in the lives of mankind!

Enough

Her tears made a soft “pat, pat” sound as they dropped onto the seat of the chair. I was later to remember that even when weeping, her face remained stoic, still almost unreadable…a part of this culture that is ever a fascination and frustration for me.

“Does God not want His children to be happy?”

Her question was loaded with years of pain, with confusion, frustration, suffering. As she spoke of the desires she’d presented again and again before God in hopes of fulfillment, but finding none, I thought of Lewis’ bolted door.

“But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the silence will become.” – C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

It was a good thing she wanted. She didn’t think God was against the thing itself, and it would bring her such happiness, so why not give it to her? Why not bless her as she longed to be blessed? I don’t understand, I don’t understand.

Standing there in my retro-orange kitchen with my friend, I felt my heart moved with hers at this cry, this desire for God to work the way we want Him to. I had my own unanswered hopes that still stung at times in my heart. And where was the generous hand of a Good Father, granting the desires of His children’s hearts for their joy and fulfillment? Wasn’t that what He wanted for us, after all?

Or is this yet one more attempt of ours to tame the Untameable?
Was this yet another desperate grasping for satisfaction in a source other than Him?

As I spoke the words to my friend, I thought of where I’d heard them…from a dear one of mine who had faced the same cry in her friend’s heart, and through her own struggles had been blessed with the gem of truth that I now placed into my friend’s hands:

“If He never gives you this thing that you want…will He still be enough for you?”

Is He enough for me?
Is the fullness of Life and Love Himself enough for me?
Is knowing the Most High, being drawn into His confidence, transformed by His redemption, counseled by His Spirit, comforted by His love, held up by His promises….is this enough for me?
What if I never marry? What if I never am to become the mother of the precious children I dream of having? What if I never become a talented artist, or I never find on this earth the niche that my heart keeps yearning after, the place where I can finally say, this is it, this is what I was made for?
Is He enough?
Or do I find Him lacking?

She was silent, and though her expression was still enigmatic, I could tell she was thinking…and struggling. I wish I could tell her what she wanted to hear – that of course God wants her to be happy, and He will give her what she wants if she’ll just pray more and have more faith. That’d be nice. A nice lie.

But I have something better to tell her.

Because He undid my own heart not long ago, and was still at work within me…
because He was teaching me of the fullness of who He is and how much deeper than I’d ever imagined a relationship with Him is…
how it really is possible to constantly know His presence, to actually be in Love with a God unseen but more real than anything else my eyes behold…
because, amusingly enough, in my senior year of college He lead me on a journey through the writing of a graduate paper on C.S. Lewis’ concept of reality and desire than opened my heart and mind to finally understand that He is the source of all my deepest longings…

Because of this, and so much more, I have truth to share with my precious friend. Words, feeble and few, which I beg His empowering over, that I pray will be used to draw her deeper into the heart of her Father who loves her far more than a temporary happiness could ever express.

Whom have I in heaven but You?

And earth has nothing I desire besides You.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

- Psalm 73:25-26

“When I lay these questions before God, I get no answer. But a rather special sort of  ‘no answer.’ It is not the locked door. It is more like a silent, certainly not uncompassionate gaze. As though he shook his head not in refusal but in waiving the question. Like, ‘Peace, child; you do not understand.’” – C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Editor’s Note: Praise God that He is enough!  Pray for this woman to seek God and not his gifts.  Pray for wisdom for this missionary to be able to answer tough questions and point the people around her to her all-sufficient God.

(names, locations and blog links omitted due to security issues; stock photo)

Just a moment

S’s brown eyes are wide with horror as she points one skinny finger in K’s face.

“She’s a terrible person! She said she doesn’t believe in God!”

“Hey. That’s ugly. Don’t say that. She’s not a terrible person,” I respond. Living in this culture has made me a bit more…outspoken. Firm. That’s the way it has to be when dealing with these kids if I want them to respond.

And respond they do.

They both look at me, blue and brown eyes big with surprise, as I continue. “Lots of people don’t believe in God. He still loves them.”

S seems incredulous that I’m refuting her condemnation of K, while K seems stunned that I am defending her dismissal of the existence of the God they all know I worship.

Just one tiny moment in the day, just a few words. But I pray it’s a step. A moment, perhaps, for both of them, to realize that perhaps things aren’t the way they’ve always thought…that perhaps He isn’t who they think He is…that He’s more.

“How do YOU know He likes flowers?” S demands later, in response to my statement that God created flowers because He likes them.

“Because I know God. I talk with Him,” I respond. The other little girls look at me skeptically.

“You know God?”

“Yes. I meet with Him.”

At this they whip their heads around to look at each other, and then begin laughing and saying, “She said she meets with God!” I feel my face beginning to burn, and I wonder if I said the wrong word, something else instead of “meet.” I quickly and discreetly check the word, and am reassured that no, I said it correctly.

“I do,” I say. “I meet with Him every morning.”

More laughter. “Where? At church?”

“At home,” I respond. “Every morning.”

One girl rolls her eyes in disgust and says, “Oh, you mean you PRAY.” With a derogatory tone on that last word.

“Yes,” I say. “Praying means talking with God. He’s a real person, and we can really meet with Him.”

More laughter and mockery. From seven and eight year-olds. This is supposed to be the age of innocence, of belief in the impossible. What happened to faith like a child?

My heart aches. They’re already so hard, so cynical and skeptical, and it’s a painful reminder that things are not the way they should be. The world is bent, and badly so when a child will scoff with the skepticism of an eighty year-old rather than believing and hoping with the purity of an eight year-old. When I look at the whole, I’m overwhelmed with despair. We’re hurtling further and further away from the Truth, toward the blackness of hatred, pain, evil…toward nothingness.

But when I look at the moments, I see the hope. Sometimes only like a flash from a firefly in the dark of night, but still, it’s light. Like these small conversations. I pray they’re steps, inching these little ones closer to Love. One little flash at a time.

Editor’s Note:  Pray for this missionary as she works with chilren.  Pray that she will have many moments that will impact their lives.  Pray for strength to live out her faith in front of them day after day.  Pray that they will want to know the Jesus they see in her.

(names, locations and blog links omitted due to security issues; stock photos)

Response from author of “Gone and Forgotten?”

“I loved seeing the blog and all the comments that it got.  Every single one was an enormous blessing.  And the photo was so encouraging!  Thanks so much for all you do for those of us on the field and for keeping us before our brothers and sisters at home.  It was such a huge help to know that everyone was praying!”

Meat treat fit for a wedding

Recently, I received a call from one of my seminary students.  He told me, “I am getting married tomorrow.  Can you come?”  ”Of course”, I replied.  He told me the details and I started making plans.  This was a very unexpected announcement and I began to think of situations that demanded a “quick wedding”.

The next day, we went to the church where the ceremony was to be held at 11am.  We arrived at 10:45 am expecting to be one of the last to show.  But true to form, we were actually early!  Neither the bride nor the groom was there yet.

Eventually everyone arrived and the ceremony went well.  I was asked to be the photographer.   After we left the church, we headed for the reception, which was about a 30-minute drive away.  My next role was as a “taxi driver” for all the guests who were at the ceremony, invited to the reception, and needed a ride – all 12 of them.

So off we went to the “boma” which had a temporary shelter erected, along with a rented sound system and generator, recorded music and 2 hand-held mics.  We were seated in plastic chairs along with other “honored guests.”  Then the reception began with greetings, welcomes, recognitions, and a short “message” by the presiding pastor.

After he finished, the bride and groom were escorted to a prominent area in front of the guests and were going to “serve keki” to the guests.  A large covered pot was brought out and uncovered.  Then guests were called individually to come and get their “keki” from the bride and groom.  When my named was called, I proceeded to the front to receive my “treat.”  The bride and groom together picked up a toothpick, put it into the pot and brought out…… a piece of boiled meat.  What a surprise!  In this culture meat is a treat one may get at a wedding!

As were talked with family members, we learned the reason for this “sudden ceremony”.  The bride had been promised to the groom for some time.  The bride price had been paid.  But due to the severe drought conditions, the family wanted the bride to get married immediately so that they would not have another mouth to feed.  Also, the cows paid for the bride would help sustain the family through these hard times.

So it was not a “shotgun wedding” but a “marriage of circumstance” which could mean the difference between survival or starving in this part of Africa that has been drastically affected by the abnormal weather conditions and lack of rain.

Editor’s Note: Pray for rain in the East Africa.  Millions have been affected by the drought including this young couple.  To find out how you can help feed a family, visit  www.gobgr.com

(names, locations and blog links omitted due to security issues; stock photo)

Being God’s touch of love in a women’s prison

My language helper and I have started visiting the women’s prison as a way for me to practice my language skills.  Last week several of the prisoners told me why they were there.

• A husband brought a second wife into the home that this first wife had built, and so she burned her house down so they couldn’t live there. The husband brought her in.

• A six-year old boy died of malaria, and the father blamed the mother and brought her to prison (They believe that every death was caused by some person, either directly or indirectly by a curse)

• One woman was pregnant with twins. She tried to abort them, but only killed one. She was put in prison, and then she delivered the second one while locked up. He is 17 months old and he still can’t walk, and he has trouble breathing.

• Mob justice killed a man, and one woman was accused of arranging the mob. She’s waiting for a date in high court, but people have been known to wait 5 years

• One lady was brought in for cutting / slashing the co-wife with a panga (Obviously, we can see, that God intended man to have one wife for many reasons!)

• A few were brought in for murder or some other crimes.  I’m not naive enough to think all these women are innocent, but I do believe some are.

After a time of singing, I prayed in Lugbara and then started the lesson in English. Immediately, a lady stopped me and said that she only spoke Alur.  So we arranged for a girl in the front to translate for her.

As I taught, my helper started her Lugbara translation, and the other woman would start her Alur translation. I’m just glad the lady cared enough to speak up, because I found out later there were over eight Alur speakers in the room, and none of them said anything.

I used Becky Miller’s illustrated book Creation. You would have thought I was showing a newly released DVD. They were glued to the book. They loved the illustrations. God, angels, Adam, and Eve are all drawn as Africans. It is really beautifully done!

At the end, I told them I had some questions for them, but my translator mis-translated me, and asked them if they had questions for me. Boy did they ever!

• Were Adam and Eve really naked?

• What was the Tree of Life for?

• What did Adam eat? We were told that food dropped from heaven, right in front of him, like chickens, and pigs, etc.

• We have heard that the fruit Eve ate wasn’t really a fruit, but a sexual sin. Was it?

Next, we passed out the soap we had brought. The bars are about a foot and a half long, and we had determined to give the baby-mommas one-half bar each and everyone else got a third of each bar. So my helper and I broke apart the bars until they were all in a pile.

After we prayed they came up one-by-one, for their soap. Most left after that, but about 12 remained because they wanted to give us prayer requests. Seven of them were translated through an Alur inmate. That whole process took about 20-30 minutes.

The last one to come up was the sickly girl who said that after I prayed over her last time she has started feeling better. Praise Jesus! She also thanked God for me, God sending us, and for the medicine I had brought her today.

We walked outside, and there seemed to be a frenzy of clothes-washing taking place. A few of the ladies told us that the next time we saw them, they would be looking so “smart” in their ”new” uniform.

The food situation is bad. They are supposed to be fed at 1pm and 5pm (just twice a day).  The nursing mothers are not getting enough food. The babies pull on their mom’s chests during Bible study trying to get something, but they are flat and empty.

When you think about it, pray for these women to be protected from the evil spirits that enjoy hanging around in that dark place. These women need a chance to hear the Truth and have some peace without always being tormented.

Editor’s Note: Pray for these prisoners to be set free in Christ. Thank God for sending this missionary to them as his hands and his feet in that dark place.  Pray for the baby-mommas to be able to care for their babies in a difficult place.

(names, locations and blog links omitted due to security issues; stock photo)